


Things That Have Never Been

by Brumeier



Series: Flower Shop AU [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Heartbeat - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Chronic Illness, Established Relationship, Hospitalization, M/M, Organ Transplantation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11425155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for Heroism prompt:Any, any, "You're my hero."In which things are looking pretty dire for Steve's health, until a new chance comes from a very unexpected direction.





	Things That Have Never Been

**Author's Note:**

> This fills the heart attack/heart trouble square on my h/c bingo card.

_If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello_. – Paulo Coehlo

*o*o*o*

_Don’t go._

Steve doesn’t remember much after he collapsed. His whole focus had been on the pain in his chest, on dragging in air so he didn’t suffocate. The entire Wedding Expo faded away, even though he was sure he’d drawn a crowd.

But he remembers Bucky holding on to him and stroking his hair and saying those two words over and over in a small, scared little boy’s voice.

_Don’t go._

The ambulance ride to the hospital was a blur. When Steve was finally lucid again he was too exhausted to do much more than stare at Bucky, who’d fallen asleep in a painful-looking position in the chair in the corner.

Steve was on oxygen, and hooked up to a couple machines to monitor his vitals. He’d been there before, but this time felt different. Worse. He still felt a little breathless and the pain in his chest, while merely a fraction of what it had been, was still there.

Dr. Fullwood, Steve’s heart specialist, stepped into the room and gave him a smile. “I can’t say I’m happy to see you, Steven.”

“Same here,” Steve rasped. Dr. Fullwood gave him some lukewarm water through a straw, which helped.

“Your friend Mr. Barnes told me you were over-doing things again. We talked about that.” The doc checked the readouts on the machines. 

“Wedding Expo is the best place to drum up new business. I had to be there.”

Steve had a booth at the expo every year, filled with flower arrangements and albums of photos of wedding flowers he’d done in the past. Weddings were big money makers. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t had help. Shirley and Bucky had done most of the heavy lifting and set-up. It had been Steve’s job to draw people in, get them interested in what he had to offer.

“So how bad is it this time?”

“I won’t lie to you,” Dr. Fullwood said. “It’s not good. You’ve been taking the ACE inhibitors?”

“And the Tambocor. I never forget a dose.”

“I’d like you to rethink the idea of having a pacemaker put in.”

Steve sighed. Things must really be dire if that was back on the table. “You know that’s not a guarantee.”

“No, but it’ll buy you some time until a donor heart can be procured.”

It had only been because of Bucky that Steve had even put himself on the donor registry list. He hadn’t bothered to point out the statistics, how out of the thousands of people waiting for heart transplants only about half of them would actually get one. Steve had come to terms with dying from his condition a long time ago, but he’d do everything in his power to make the transition easier for Bucky.

“Let me think about it, okay?” It was the best Steve could offer. “How soon can I get out of here?”

“You’re going to be my guest for the next couple of days, and only if I see some improvement in these vitals.” Dr. Fullwood squeezed his arm. “Don’t give up on yourself, Steven. I haven’t.”

When the doc left, Steve saw that Bucky was awake and watching him with hooded eyes.

“Hey,” Steve said. He prepared himself for another argument, this time about having a pacemaker put in, but Bucky just rubbed a hand over his face and offered Steve a weak smile.

“Hey.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Bucky got up and carried the chair over to the bed so he could hold Steve’s hand. “Shirley’s handling the expo. She wanted me to tell you.”

“Maybe we’ll get some pity orders.” Steve yawned, his jaw cracking. 

“Maybe you should get some sleep and not worry about the fucking flowers.” Bucky’s hand tightened around Steve’s.

“You have a great bedside manner. Ever considered a job in healthcare?”

“Fuck you,” Bucky replied, but his mouth twitched up like he wanted to smile.

That was good enough for Steve, who let his eyes drift closed. He was so tired.

“Don’t go,” he murmured.

Bucky pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.”

*o*o*o*

Steve hated being confined to bed. He needed to be active, needed to keep his hands busy. Bucky brought him some magazines – an interesting mix of publications for florists, one of which Steve had a subscription to, outdoor sport enthusiasts and old issues of People magazine that might have been stolen from the waiting room – and his sketchbook, but Steve wasn’t feeling particularly interested in anything. He just wanted to go home and get back to work.

“Hey.” Bucky strode through the door with a take-out bag in one hand and another vase of flowers in the other. Steve’s room looked like a greenhouse.

“More? Who’re they from?”

“The Sixth Street Canasta Club.” Bucky made room for the vase on the windowsill. “Shirley says the shop’s never been busier.”

He dropped the bag on the tray next to Steve’s bed, and leaned over to give him a kiss. Inside the bag was a turkey sandwich on rye with everything Steve liked except hot peppers. He tucked into it gratefully.

“So, you’re a big celebrity now,” Bucky said. He took up his usual position in the bedside chair. He kicked his shoes off so he could prop his feet up on the bed. “Local hero and everything.”

“What? Why?”

“Local news ran a piece about you. Humble gay man with heart condition running a flower shop he named after his mother. Real fluff stuff.”

Steve grimaced. He wasn’t interested in that kind of publicity. He wasn’t some kind of side show attraction.

“Yeah, I figured you’d feel that way.” Bucky smirked. “So I can only imagine how happy you’ll be when I tell you you’ve been getting calls from the Today Show and Ellen DeGeneres’ people.”

“Because I’m a gay guy with a heart condition?”

“Because your little friend Kelsey wrote a really nice thing about you on the TV station’s website and it’s gone viral. Apparently you’re also a big philanthropist, which was news to me.” Bucky glared at Steve. “Unless she was bullshitting through the whole thing, you’ve been donating money to veteran causes and sending care packages to soldiers overseas.”

Steve shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Of course you’d say that. That’s why ‘hashtag Steve’s-big-heart’ is all over the place right now. You’re the poster boy for cardiomyopathy.”

He hadn’t really thought about the upsides to a hospital stay, but now Steve was kind of glad he wasn’t home. Would there be press people there, waiting for him? Probably everyone wanted an interview, and that’s the last thing he was interested in. Although, if it helped bring awareness of the disease, and maybe encouraged more people to sign up to be organ donors…

“You’re unbelievable,” Bucky said. “You’re thinking about doing a press tour, aren’t you? So you can help other people. How’d I ever fall for such a self-sacrificing dope like you?”

“Just lucky, I guess,” Steve said with a grin.

“So let’s talk about the pacemaker.”

Steve dropped his head back on the pillow and sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

*o*o*o*

The lights in the room were dimmed, the shades drawn, and Bucky was conspicuously absent. Steve had agreed to the pacemaker insertion but he’d had a heart attack just prior to the procedure. A pretty big one this time. At the rate he was going he’d never get out of the hospital.

He hadn’t seen Bucky since they’d brought him back to his room.

Dr. Fullwood knocked lightly on the door before coming in. “There are some people here to see you, Steven.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m not really up for visitors, Doc.”

“I think you’ll want to hear them out. I don’t completely agree with what they’re recommending, but ultimately the choice is yours.”

“Okay.” Steve’s curiosity was piqued. He raised the back of the bed a little more than it already was and waited.

Never in a million years would he have expected Tony Stark to walk through his door.

“Ah, here’s the big hero!”

Stark was larger than life in his expensively tailored suit and thousand-watt grin. Steve had only ever seen him on television, presiding over rich people parties and extravagant fund-raisers. He looked exactly like the billionaire philanthropist he was and Steve had no clue what he could possibly want with a sickly florist from Brooklyn.

“You don’t mind if I call you Steve, do you? Mr. Rogers evokes a certain image of cardigan sweaters and hand puppets that seems out of place here.” Stark shook Steve’s hand, careful not to jar loose the pulse oximeter. “I bet you’re wondering why I’m here and why I brought the country’s premier cardio-thoracic surgeon with me.”

Steve belatedly realized that there was a woman with Stark. She had long blonde hair that looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in a while, and was wearing jeans and a Ramones t-shirt. He opened his mouth to ask the question but Stark just kept going. 

“Alex and I are here to make you a proposition, Steve. You’re just the kind of guy I’ve been looking for to take a new Stark Innovations medical marvel for a test drive.”

“I don’t understand,” Steve said, finally getting a word in edgewise.

“I’ll take it from here, Richie Rich,” Alex said. She actually pushed Stark out of the way and perched on the edge of the bed. “Tony wants to give you an artificial heart, and I want to be the one to hook it up and get you back on your feet.”

Steve just stared at her. She patted his hand.

“I know. It’s a lot to take in. SynCardia has been making artificial hearts for people in need of transplants, but they’re only meant to keep the patient alive long enough to get a human heart replacement. Stark’s will keep you alive indefinitely.”

Stark rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell him that! The HB-80 will continue functioning until you get to the end of your natural lifespan. Obviously it can’t keep you alive when all your other organs are failing. Although if this works the way we think it will, making more artificial organs will be a breeze.” He steepled his fingers under his chin. “I may have beaten death.”

Alex shook her head. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“You want me to be a human trial,” Steve said. It seemed insane. An artificial heart? Would that make him some kind of cyborg? “Why me?”

“You’re the perfect candidate.” Stark beamed at him from across the room. “Young, otherwise healthy, some sort of neighborhood hero. You’re all over the internet right now, you know. Noble florist, blah blah blah. With your face and my heart? There’s no way to lose.”

“No.”

Everyone turned to the door. Bucky was standing there, arms crossed and a thunderous expression on his face. Steve let out a relieved breath.

“And you are?” Stark asked.

“I’m Steve’s health proxy,” Bucky replied stonily. “And you’re not going to experiment on him, or use him to sell overpriced robot parts. He needs the real thing, not some toy cooked up in a lab.”

“Okay, I don’t know who you are but I really don’t like you.”

Alex got off the bed and went to confer with Stark, while Bucky edged over to Steve. 

“Looks like I got here just in time,” Bucky said. He stood protectively over Steve, hand on his shoulder.

“We’re not done talking about this,” Stark said as Alex ushered him out of the room. “This is an opportunity you don’t want to…okay, Nurse Ratched, give me a break!”

“That’s _Doctor_ Ratched!” Alex closed the door behind him and leaned against it. “Can we speak frankly, gentlemen? Ignore most of what comes out of Tony’s mouth. It always sounds bad. The truth of the matter is that his medical division has made a breakthrough with the artificial heart. I’ve looked at the specs, and the research, and the animal testing. This is solid.”

“He needs a real heart,” Bucky insisted.

“This is better. You have to trust me on this, but I really am damn good at my job. With the artificial heart there’s no threat of rejection because we’re not introducing foreign cells, and it has a self-sustaining battery the size of your thumbnail so you won’t need to carry around an external driver to keep it functioning. It’s not sensitive to magnetic or electromagnetic fields like a pacemaker would be. For all intents and purposes it’s a real heart. Only better.”

Steve didn’t know Alex, had no reason to trust her, but he couldn’t help feeling she was sincere. At the very least, she believed in Stark’s invention.

“I don’t expect an immediate yes,” she said. “Feel free to do a background check on me. Alexandra Panttiere. I work out of St. Matthew’s in LA. We’re a research hospital, so I have a lot of experience with successful, cutting edge surgeries using the latest techniques and equipment available.”

Bucky nodded, as if he planned on doing just that.

“You really think this could work?” Steve asked.

“I really do,” Alex replied. “As excited as I am about the tech, I wouldn’t recommend it if I didn’t think it was safe. The whole idea is to improve your life expectancy, as well as your quality of life. I want happy patients, Steve.”

Bucky squeezed Steve’s shoulder, and Steve reached up to pat his hand. Alex nodded.

“How long have you two been together?”

“We grew up together,” Bucky said defensively.

“Childhood sweethearts?”

“Something like that.” Steve looked up at Bucky. “He’s my best friend. My best everything, really.”

“Then that’s something to think about when you make your decision. If you want to grow old together, Stark is your only option.” Alex pulled a crumpled business card out of her back pocket and handed it to Steve. “I’ll be close by. Call me when you’ve made your decision.”

“Thanks.”

Alex nodded at both of them and slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her. Bucky gave Steve’s shoulder one last squeeze and then moved across the room to drag his chair next to the bed.

“How you feeling?” he asked once he got himself comfortable. 

“Like I need a new heart.”

Bucky nodded solemnly, his eyes on his hands. “Sorry.”

“For what?”

“For making you do the pacemaker surgery. If I hadn’t, maybe –”

“Now who’s being stupid? I’d have had the heart attack either way, Buck. It’s just giving out, and that’s not anybody’s fault.” Steve held out his hand and after a long moment Bucky took it, threading their fingers together. When Bucky looked up his eyes were shimmering with tears.

“This feels like goodbye.”

Steve contemplated the business card in his other hand. “Maybe it doesn’t have to be.”

*o*o*o*

The surgery was risky, the outcome unknown, and so Steve made his peace. Just in case. Bucky was so tightly wound Steve wasn’t sure what would happen if he didn’t make it, and so he put in a call to Bucky’s sister Becky, who came to the hospital to stay with her brother for the duration of the surgery so he wouldn’t be alone if the worst happened.

Growing up with a ticking time bomb in his chest meant that Steve already had contingencies in place for his business, his apartment, all of his things. He had a will, he had funeral arrangements already set up and paid for, and he had a burial plot. The one thing he couldn’t do was make sure Bucky would be okay, and that was the only regret that followed him down when the anesthesia took hold.

*o*o*o*

Steve woke slowly, eyelids heavy, and at first he wasn’t sure where he was. But then he heard the heart monitor. Right. Hospital. Bad ticker. He tipped his head to the side, looking for Bucky, but what he saw instead was a little aloe plant on the tray beside the bed. His lips twitched up in a smile. Aloe represented healing, and affection. Someone had been doing their homework.

It took him almost an entire minute to realize that being awake meant he was alive. The surgery must have been successful. He slid his hand up his stomach and rested it on his chest over the bandages. Tony Stark’s miracle heart worked.

He slid back into sleep, relieved.

The next time he woke up he was being used as a card table. Bucky and Alex were on either side of his bed with playing cards in their hands, and both of them had their feet propped up.

“And the monkey’s still alive?” Bucky asked.

“Hey, I’m a professional! Of course the monkey’s still alive. Gin.”

“What, again?” Bucky looked at his cards in dismay, and then finally noticed that Steve was awake. “Hey, there you are.”

“Worked,” Steve whispered.

“Damn right it did.” Alex scooped the cards off of Steve’s stomach and dropped them on the bedside table. “Stark’s medical marvel is pumping away inside your chest like a champ.”

“How do you feel?” Bucky asked, searching Steve’s face. 

“Tired. But…good. Pain’s gone.”

Bucky beamed, and it was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his friend so happy. It was just too bad that it took surviving life-threatening heart surgery to make that happen. But maybe now he’d have more to smile about since he wouldn’t have to worry about Steve’s health all the time.

“So what happens now?” Steve asked Alex.

“Now, we monitor you for a day or so here in the ICU, then you’ll be moved back to your room upstairs for about a week.”

“A week?” Steve sighed. He wanted to go home. He’d had enough of the hospital.

“Guinea pig, remember? We want to make sure that new heart of yours keeps on ticking.” Alex put a hand on his arm. “But after that you’re free to go. We’ll tag you and release you back into the wilds of Brooklyn. You’ll need to come in for regular tests for a while, but I think it’s going to be smooth sailing from here on out.”

“We can do a week,” Bucky said firmly. “Think of it as a vacation, because Stark is gonna want to show you off as soon as you’re mobile.”

“He gave me a fresh start. He can do anything he wants.” Steve looked at Bucky, his vision blurring just a little from the tears in his eyes. “We have more time.”

Bucky leaned in and kissed him, and then they were both crying and holding on to each other. Steve suddenly had his whole life ahead of him, and Bucky to share it with. It was overwhelming, in the best possible way. 

“The end of that line got a lot farther away,” Steve murmured.

Bucky huffed out a laugh. “I’m looking forward to the ride.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** I am not now nor have I ever been a doctor or health-care professional. Everything comes from Google, but wrathchilde looked it over for me and he is in fact a health-care professional, so we’ll just blame him for any errors. ::grins::
> 
> Thanks to [wrathchilde](http://archiveofourown.org/users/WrathChilde/pseuds/WrathChilde) and to [nagi_schwarz](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz) for the beta work and hand holding.


End file.
